Best of the resumes!

Ok, so I have been recruiting for almost a decade now. In that time I have seen thousands and thousands of resumes. I give you for your reading pleasure the best lines from these resumes. I keep the excerpts for my bad day file. Enjoy!

1. 05-05 to 01-06
Car Taker

2. Learned how to use a variety of tools and power equipment; have some of my own. (Applied for an accounting role)

3. I able to express myself clearly and accurately in written and spoken communications. (Am you?)

4. Professional Musician
- guitarist/songwriter - toured the United States virtually non stop - Rocked the nation

5. Supervise entire plant during 3rd shift with target goal of 00% accuracy for all operations including warehousing, receiving,mixing, pettitizing and maintenance. (Aim high)

6. * Very dangerous work, hands were less than 1 inch from the 12 inch sawblade 8 hours a day.

* The guy who had the job before me lost 3 fingers

* Learned a lot on this job

* Keeping the rest of the guys busy

7. I am Shameema, a recently PASSED OUT graduate from the university of Sri Lanka